The History of the World according to Undergraduates

I've been sitting on several ideas for blog posts for a long time. Trying to write chapter one of my thesis, among many other things, has kept me from writing them. I am currently at work in the Health Sciences Library. Due to the fact that Easter Break has begun, it is very quiet here. So, I thought it might be time to compose one of those blog entries I've been meaning to do.

Last term I taught a history course that was a general survey of European History from the end of the Roman Empire to the present day. I didn't give lectures, I just lead seminars, which is where the students are broken into smaller groups and they talk about certain topics in depth. I marked their essays and graded their exams. Some of these made me proud, as they demonstrated that the students were paying attention and getting something out of the course. Most of them were mediocre, and a few made me cringe. For their final exams, I wrote down the cringe-worthy ones and share them with you now. Here is the history of the world, according to undergraduates.

Many barbarian tribes joined the Roman Empire due to the benefits they could
receive...King Theodoric received a Roman spin doctor for his cooperation.

Wherever Latin Christendom expanded to, it brought with it Christianity.

The early Roman emperors were considered to be gods on earth.

One of the earliest known multi-nation empires was the first Persian Empire,
which began in the sixth century BC. This empire even included many areas
within Britain.

Modernity must be seen as the final stage in the process of Modernisation, the
stage reached after the varying processes of modernisation have completed and
begun to work together. Modernity is a time, not a definition.

What makes such an essay [defining the characteristics of modernity] hard to
right [sic] is the fact that we are in the process of leaving or are still in
the modern era.

The crusades were steeped with a notion of expanding Christendom into its
spiritual heartland and in turn encompassing the East under a new 'Roman' sense
of identity.

The year 1500 is often seen as a transition to modernity, displaying
characteristics such as improved economic administration and social structure.

The adoption of Christianity would also lead to the Reformation dividing
Catholics and Protestants.

The following four statements are from the same exam.

As Voltaire argued, the Roman Empire was not "Holy, nor Roman, nor an
Empire".

Ferdinand and Isabella sent Columbus as a missionary but his hunt for gold and
wealth in the New World turned the native people into an inferior
race.

The Renaissance beginning around 1200 became the start of a move away
from religion, papacy, and absolute rule.

The British Empire and its success have changed the course of history to the
extent that it may be the reason I am sitting here today.